Amityville Horror Remake Review

In my repertoire of random fragments of movies that float around in my mind, leftover from childhood, I remembered the name "Amityville Horror". I couldn't really remember the movie at all, so I decided I should watch it. I mosied on down to one of the various pawn stores hoping to find it, but not really expecting to...and there it was (in the 3 for $10 section - woohoo)!

I rushed home and popped it in the DVD player. Or maybe not. Maybe I actually went and did some grocery shopping or something. Who knows? At any rate, after I managed to get home, I popped it in the DVD player and waited with slightly bated breath. After waiting for what may have been a nanosecond, I went to get food and a drink. By the time I returned, it was to the selection screen.

As the movie started, my initial thought was that the only thing that looked even vaguely familiar about this movie was the house. A man wakes up at 3:15 a.m., grabs a shotgun and proceeds to blow his family's brains out one at a time. It's loud, and I realize that these folks must be related to my family. That is the only explanation for why only one little girl wakes up before they are shot. The name of the little girl in question appears to be Jodi...I make note of this for future reference.

Flash forward. A man and a woman drive into a ritzy neighborhood, apparently house hunting. They stop at what we now know is the Amityville house. There is much gushing, then they determine that they will be able to afford the house. The man does not want the house, but the woman very much does. We all know how that argument ended.

Three children are introduced, and we discover that one parent is a step-parent. A video camera appears out of nowhere to record touching moments for later use as heart-wrenching scenes. Mother is very excited and I predict later rewards of sex for the man. It seems that he does too.

In the next important scene, the man discovers an alarm clock in the basement. The clock is stopped at 3:15. Our ominous bones begin tingling now, and my Yoohoo is gone. I want more, but the movie has its grasp on me, and will not let me go.

Now the man is rewarded with the predicted sex. The woman is a man's fantasy woman, waking him up with groping hands and mounting him. Imagine his surprise when, in the throes of passion, he starts seeing dead children over her shoulder. At the point, he clearly believes that he is hallucinating. Therefore, because he clearly does not have an open relationship with his wife, he refuses to tell her of his vision when she asks what's wrong.

In the clear light of day, the woman is working in the kitchen. She looks over at the refrigerator and sees refrigerator magnets arranged to read something like "catch them, kill them". As you can imagine, this disturbs her and she goes to find the man. However, when she looks again at the refrigerator, the letters are scrambled. Again, the less than solid relationship results in silence about the "hallucination".

Somewhere during this area, the man removes his shirt to chop wood, and my jaw drops. Wow! His chest is unbelievable! He's so buff that he looks like a comic book character. Who would have thought? At this point, I think I wouldn't want to tangle with him.

A babysitter comes to watch the children. She had apparently babysat for the people who were massacred as well. She tells the children what happened to the last family in the house so that she can freak them out and impress the 12-year-old boy who is drooling over her half-naked body. At some point, she manages to piss the ghost of Jodi off. She gets locked into the closet and bad things happen.

The man begins behaving strangely and the woman begins to believe that the house is evil. She discovers that the history of the house includes a psycho who murdered his entire family because he thought he heard voices. We discover that the psycho had killed the family dog a few days before he killed the family. To her credit, the real estate agent who sold them the house had told them about the massacre. They just chose to ignore it...

Moving onward, the man accidentally kills the family dog in the boathouse. It's a reasonable mistake, since he thought it was a demon attacking him. After all, who wouldn't? However, since he's pretty sure he's crazy, he decides not to tell anyone about the little mishap. Nor is he interested in going to counseling for help.

The woman doesn't have these qualms about going for help though. She runs off and finds a preacher to come check out the house. Sadly, the preacher also happens to be a coward who runs away in terror when bugs fly at him in the house. He refuses to come back and help them. However, he does give her the excellent advice to get out of the house.

Meanwhile, unfortunately, the man has discovered the entryway into the hidden rooms in the house where, apparently, a psycho religious fellow had killed a bunch of native americans when the house was fairly new. The fellow religious nut killed himself afterward, in the belief that his spirit would remain in the house, or some such. Our step-father man discovers the religious nut in one of these hidden rooms, and things aren't pretty.

The woman returns to remove her family and the man tries to kill her. Much chasing occurs, during which the ghost of the little girl from the first (Jodi) opens a window so that the family can escape onto the roof. They do so, but then climb down. The man, who has fallen off the roof while pursuing them, was fortunate to land in mud so that he is not injured. He goes after the woman, who knocks him to the ground with a shotgun but refuses to kill him. The man has a moment of clarity and see that if she does not kill him, he will kill her. So she hits him in the head and knocks him out.

The family drags the man into the boathouse, loads him into the boat, and drives away. After they get out on the lake, the man wakes up. He appears to have left the possessed state behind and is his old cheerful self again. Now, we see the ghost of Jodi in the house. She looks sad. Then she disappars into the floor. I think wow, really good acting and graphics for the 80's!

It is only afterward that I discover that the movie that I watched is not the one that I saw as a child. This one is the remake. Also, the original was not from the 80's; it was from the 70's. I also discover that the actor who played the step-father had just come from playing in the movie Blade: Trinity. Well, that explains some things....

Walgreens Diapers Review

So, you look at the pictures and think "yep, looks like diapers." What you fail to realize is that in truth, this is an optical illusion. There are no diapers here!

I went to Walgrens yesterday in search of diapers. I have always stuck with Huggies since the diaper disasters of my first-born. However, I was at Walgreens and saw a magnificent money-saving opportunity. I could buy two jumbo packs of Walgreens diapers for about the same price as one jumbo pack of Huggies! Something deep inside me cautioned against this. It said things like "We've tried other brands before...it was never pleasant." But how could I resist that enticing price? In the end, the money argument won out.

I had my first opportunity to try these diapers out last night directly before bed. Upon opening up a diaper, misgivings arose within myself. The texture was all wrong. The diaper wasn't poofy enough. Little things seemed wrong. But I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Then, this morning when I picked up my son, I noted that his blanket was wet and I thought "Uh-oh...bad diaper, like I predicted." However, having spent the money on these packs of diapers, I convinced myself that this was not the case. Instead, I would rather believe that he simply released an excessive amount of urine overnight...more than any diaper could reasonably be expected to hold. So I changed him into a new Walgreens diaper.

Then, less than an hour ago, I was holding my son in my lap while at the computer. Suddenly, I felt an all-too-familiar wetness running down my leg. Yes, my son peed all over me. And himself. And the chair. Not his fault of course...the diaper is entirely to blame. And if you really want to get down to the nitty gritty of it, I'm to blame. Against all instinct, I bought these diapers. I shan't make him suffer from them anymore, however. It's Huggies from now on!

Black Rose Necklace Review

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24326080

Who doesn't like black roses? Being allergic to roses myself, I consider manmade roses to be the very best kind. All of the beauty with none of the sneezing.

The seller says that the rose pendant itself has a one inch diameter, so it should be small enough to not look gaudy (and to elicit closer inspection from the fellows).

My biggest complaint about this item is the darker colored beads. I think that the necklace would look significantly better if it contained all clear beads with the rose. Furthermore, the two beads that the rose is in between are both of the darker variety. In my opinion, this clashes a bit. If the darker beads must be included at all, they shouldn't be so close to the rose pendant. Perhaps putting fewer would help - 1 in every 4 could safely be dark if the rest were clear.

If you haven't had a chance to check out this Black Rose Necklace, be sure to take a peek at it by clicking this link:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24326080

Altered Mirror Review

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=20643610

My immediate thought upon seeing this mirror is: "Cool design and colors." This thought is immediately followed by: "Valentine's Day colored? Only if you're a bit on the gothic side." Not that there's anything wrong with goths...but I think more of reds and pinks and whites for V-Day than black (I just went back and realized that what I thought was black is actually dark brown). Granted, it has red in it, and a very nice shade of red. Still, I think calling it Valentine's Day colored is stretching the truth a bit.

I really like the background on this picture. Is that a sheet? Sure looks like it. The folds of the white sheet soften the effects of the red on black mirror design.

Additionally, the angle that the picture is taken from is nice. Taking more of a head-on shot would have not looked nearly as pleasant as this does. Furthermore, taking the shot from this angle prevents the dilemma of the camera being seen in the mirror's reflection. Instead, we seem to see the ceiling reflected in the mirror.

Although the seller lists this item as having "a cute swirl design", I think of it more as a "vines and berries" design. I can't imagine the little round balls as anything besides berries, though this could be partially due to the color. Lots of red berries here in central TX :)

Overall, both the picture and the item itself look quite attractive. If you haven't already, come check it out here:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=20643610

On The Border Of Oblivion Photo Review

I'll be reviewing a few of my fellow Etsians' products tonight in a series of posts, starting with this very nice lakeside photo entitled "On the Border of Oblivion."

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25278491

The photographer did a superb job when taking this photo. The image is very clear and the perspective is excellent. I particularly like the angle of the little boat at the bottom left, which leads the eye to the center of the photo. The reflection on the water is marred only by the ripples that go out over the lake. If you've ever tried to take a picture of reflections in water, then you know how difficult this can be.

I think this would look very nice framed in a wood frame and placed in a den, particularly close to a fireplace. Excellent job, OldHound!

To view this product, click here:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25278491

Setting Up This Blog

Well, I've decided to start a blog for reviews. Reviews of what, you ask? Reviews of anything! Movies, books, products, you name it...I tend to be opinionated, so I'm sure I can easily find things to review, lol.

For instance, infant gas drops. I have been trying these Mylicon drops on my two-week-old baby with limited success. One positive is that they are apparently, though not necessarily tasty, at least passable in flavor. My son neither spits out the medicine nor cries inconsolably during or after its administration. On the negative side, it does not appear to completely relieve his gas. He does seem to expel more gas after taking the Mylicon, yet he continues to be somewhat bloated. Nevertheless, I would recommend these drops for babies with gas issues. Any improvement is better than none :)